CRITICISM
How to give it, how to take it
by Corinne Sweet, reprinted from Cosmopolitan, Sept 1993.
Whether you’re showing a colleague where she’s gone wrong or you’re the one in the hot seat, the situation calls for you each to see both sides.
Criticism – the mere mention of the word brings some people out in a cold sweat. They automatically have negative associations of being told off and ‘taken down a peg or two’. But being criticised doesn’t have to be difficult or damaging. When you know the right way to give it, and take it, criticism can enhance you and your colleagues’ success at work. In fact, effective criticism can do you a power of good and help you focus on what needs changing. The proper function of criticism is to bring about change for the better. ‘Those who want the critical edge should remember that criticism must aim to improve, says Hendrie Weisinger of Creative Criticism’. ‘It should be associated with helping, trust and support. It can also be a powerful force to motivate and change.’
Christine Walker learnt a hard and useful lesson about criticism in her career in advertising. ‘When I was a trainee in advertising, my boss would deduct a day’s salary from staff for “non-participation” – i.e., from anyone not pulling their weight. Some colleagues saw this as negative criticism. My response was, “I’ll show you what participation means!” Walker now runs her own successful company and is one of the most powerful women in advertising in Britain. Pay deductions for ‘non-participation’ is hardly ethical business practice and most employers would be wise to find alternative means of motivating productivity but for Christine, it was the kind of catalyst that boosted her career at the right place and the right time.
Giving it
Imagine that you have to criticise a colleague’s work Where do you start? It will help if you concentrate on the following points:
* What exactly do I want to change? What are my motives? How can I communicate them so that my colleague will be most receptive? What solutions and goals can I offer her? What’s a reasonable time in which my colleague can achieve them?
It helps to work out your criticism in advance. Write down or even rehearse it out loud if it helps you clarify it and gauge how you’d like to come across. You may even like to tape and then listen to it.
* Be specific. ‘Say, “This work is wrong,” not, “You’ve done this all wrong, “ advises Rhiannon Chapman, an industrial-relations adviser. “It’s unlikely they got it wrong on purpose,” she explains. ‘Your intentions should be to get things done properly and to enable colleagues to progress and learn.’
* Choose the place with care. Can you meet the recipient of your criticism on their own territory, or on neutral ground where they’ll feel more comfortable and, therefore, probably more receptive to what you have to say?
* State your criticism clearly – but don’t use words such as ‘should’ or ‘must’. These terms imply that your opinion is the only right one and you uphold the idea of criticism as an either/or situation. State the positives, as well as what’s wrong.
“I think criticism should always be sandwiched between encouragement,” says Chapman. “First, you need to find something to praise about the work, then say what needs to be put right and
conclude by being positive about the outcome.”
* Do stress that she can do it better ‘next time’. This lets her know that there will be another time. “Positive criticism should always fulfil a ‘TASK’,” explains Weisinger. “It should: Teach Appropriate Skills and Knowledge.” In other words, you are identifying behaviour that can be changed, and your message is, ‘I’m telling you this in order to help you and/or our relationship.
* Nip it in the bud. Deal with a problem situation early instead of ignoring it until it gets so bad you actually lose your temper with the person. This is when your criticism may end up sounding accusatory and won’t achieve anything. If, after all of this, the person still does not listen, find a new way of making the criticism. Saying ‘You never listen’ just won’t cut any ice. Instead try, ‘We stand more of a chance of making this work if we co-operate with each other. I’m willing to. Are you?’ If the recipient can see that you are concerned about her welfare and are committed to helping her, she’s more likely to react positively.
Taking it
How many of us would love to know what friends and colleagues really think of us? Probably most of us. But how many of us would feel completely comfortable about hearing the bad comments that might arise? Experts say that they would probably do us more good than any number of compliments. Weisinger goes further and says that to benefit from criticism, we must befriend it. As the poster in a café suggests, ‘If you don’t like what we do, don’t tell others, tell us’, we must seek our criticism if we are to grow.
‘Another word for criticism is feed-back,’ says Dr Lily Segerman-Peck, a women’s careers-development adviser. ‘It’s always useful to have feedback – it helps you evaluate which skills are going well and which need development. Otherwise, how can you improve?’
* Next time you’re criticised, make a careful appraisal of what is said, listening closely and take notes if necessary. Then consider the following: How important is the criticism? Who is giving it (are they qualified to criticise you)? How have they done it (is it well intentioned)? Has it been consistent? If it happens frequently, refers to the same behaviour and comes from different people, it probably is valid and it is time to make a change in yourself.
* We all make mistakes. But it’s important to be mature enough to be able to admit it. Say, ‘Yes, I was wrong but I’ll correct the problem at once.’ This is a professional attitude and shows strength of character. Remember, if you agree to do something new or different as a result of a proposal, keep to it.
* Don’t be reactive. If you feel that you really are being unfairly criticised, stay calm and be logical and state your case clearly. This is not a right or wrong situation. Criticism is only an opinion, not an absolute fact. What it can do is represent information that’s helpful to you in both the short and the long term.
However, that doesn’t mean you must act on every piece of criticism you encounter. Appraise each situation as it arises to gauge whether or not the criticism aimed at you is valid and, if it is really in your best interest, then you can begin to act on it.