My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned … couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

I finally got a job as a historian until I realised there was no future in it.

SO I RETIRED, AND FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!